A Phone's Tale, Part 3

"What?? No... I am not going to tak... WHAT!?!! Mummy!!!!!!!"

Phone blinked stubbornly. I clarified myself. "Eh?!"

"Don't you understand lady? I am Steve Jobs," continued the staccato machine-voice of Phone.

"I didn't know this would work for sure, but thanks to my innovation, creative genius and not to mention, my pact with the Technology-Demon, I am pure Silica and Electricity now. A testament to my future-looking, omniscient... don't waste my time Insignificance. Go forth, bring me to my HQ. In my basement, I have Dylan waiting for me to upload on him.

"Ewww !" The adult in me was responding, despite the giggle issued forth by the grad-student in me. I continued sanctimoniously, " That sounds gross. I don't know what you are talking about. Look, I am a poor, soon-to-be-out-of-work graduate student. I have no time to go wherever and do whatever. And did you just call me Insignificance?!!! It's 3AM and I have a meeting tomorrow. So I am going to tell myself this was a freaky dream and sleep it off. Bbye Steve." I was unshakable. What silliness, talking Phone and Steve Jobs. This is what happens, when one spends too much time reading the news and watching inspirational speeches by powerful execs instead of working and sleeping at the appropriate hour.

"NOOOO!! You chubby minion, don't go! I have very little time. Look, I am sorry. Listen, this is very important. The future depends on me and now, sadly you. OK, OK you needn't go anywhere, just break this phone. Shatter it and free my spirit. Don't go. And no , no, don't you turn me off, don't you......------------"

A Phone's Tale, Part 2

Did I say midnight? Make that midnight, PST... so yeah, it was 3AM.

My Phone groaned, "Steve?". What the... I jumped up in my couch and woke up to a brightly lit phone screen and white noise on the tele screen. I am not easily flappable but a talking phone was the closest thing to an avenging demon. No, that's not true, but that's what I thought at 3 AM. I picked my phone up and stupidly said, "Hello?" at it. " Steve? Where am I? And who are you?"

Fancy that! We have a nifty saying in Hindi for this situation which poorly translates to - my cat meows at me?! But, that's how I felt. What do you mean how am I? Who in god's name are you? But the wisecracks never come to me when I am woken up in the middle of a dreamless sleep. "Actually, I am Neeraja, but I have dropped an 'a' so it's easy for you guys to pronounce it - which means I am Neerja, n-e-e-r-j-a". I didn't half believe it when it happened, but Phone actually sneered. I could hear it. It was a feeble man's voice, but rich in its sarcastic undertones and superiority in its treble. " Bring Steve to me. I have important business. And why it so cramped in here?".

I had stopped drooling and fully awoken now. Get a grip, I said to myself. No phone of mine commands me- not even Phone. And you know, this is a creepy, weird situation, really, you are allowed to scream like in the horror movies. Deciding that the sanest move was to freak out , I closed my eyes and let Phone really have it.

"Oh God, what's happening! ?? Who the hell are you?? And STOP CALLING ME STEVE!! AAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

This went on for a while. But I couldn't sustain the banshee-behaviour and Phone didn't seem to care for my histrionics either. I stopped and looked. The phone lay harmlessly on the coffee-table. Considering that it was entirely possible that I may have vividly dreamed it up, I gingerly picked the offending gadget up.

Phone whirred back to life, blinked a couple of times and in a flat voice, rich with effect, said, "I am Steve Jobs. Take me to my headquarters"