My Phone groaned, "Steve?". What the... I jumped up in my couch and woke up to a brightly lit phone screen and white noise on the tele screen. I am not easily flappable but a talking phone was the closest thing to an avenging demon. No, that's not true, but that's what I thought at 3 AM. I picked my phone up and stupidly said, "Hello?" at it. " Steve? Where am I? And who are you?"
Fancy that! We have a nifty saying in Hindi for this situation which poorly translates to - my cat meows at me?! But, that's how I felt. What do you mean how am I? Who in god's name are you? But the wisecracks never come to me when I am woken up in the middle of a dreamless sleep. "Actually, I am Neeraja, but I have dropped an 'a' so it's easy for you guys to pronounce it - which means I am Neerja, n-e-e-r-j-a". I didn't half believe it when it happened, but Phone actually sneered. I could hear it. It was a feeble man's voice, but rich in its sarcastic undertones and superiority in its treble. " Bring Steve to me. I have important business. And why it so cramped in here?".
I had stopped drooling and fully awoken now. Get a grip, I said to myself. No phone of mine commands me- not even Phone. And you know, this is a creepy, weird situation, really, you are allowed to scream like in the horror movies. Deciding that the sanest move was to freak out , I closed my eyes and let Phone really have it.
"Oh God, what's happening! ?? Who the hell are you?? And STOP CALLING ME STEVE!! AAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
This went on for a while. But I couldn't sustain the banshee-behaviour and Phone didn't seem to care for my histrionics either. I stopped and looked. The phone lay harmlessly on the coffee-table. Considering that it was entirely possible that I may have vividly dreamed it up, I gingerly picked the offending gadget up.
Phone whirred back to life, blinked a couple of times and in a flat voice, rich with effect, said, "I am Steve Jobs. Take me to my headquarters"
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