A Phone's Tale, Part 4

I'll tell you what's happening in my life these days. Hmmmmm.... nothing much. So let's zip past the insignificant hours of me struggling to add just another sensible lie, ahem Freudian typo, line to make my résumé, milling through lab-hours surfing the internet, looking for the clock to strike a decent hour to go home, like a half-live zombie hoping to die at the hands of a merciful zombie-killer, but yet having to look for living things to bite and infect. I mean, do zombies have drive? Wait, let me google that... In doing my research on zombie-drive, I may have trifled away a good hour. I adhere still to my speculative metaphor: I like a zombie lavished my time to pointless pursuits and half-heartedly staggered through the day. I did find some interesting theories about why zombies eat brains, but I digress. I returned home, undefeated, only because I didn't fight any of life's important battles that day. I hadn't in a while. In fact, I had been actively avoiding those tough decisions of life- to apply or not to apply... for a job. To reimagine your CV into a résumé, or not to reimagine. To play yet another round of Bejeweled 2 or not to play, when afterall, it looked like one of life's very few things I was continually good at these days. Well-wishing friends could say, my life was at an impasse, only because I had taken a brief trip to a defeatist-cul-de-sac, parked my car there and left, but who had time for that ponderous thought now!

Anyway, I came back from "work", and as was routine of my joblessly gridlocked life, popped open a frozen entrée, dropped on my sloughy cough in front of the TV, snuggled under my comfy-blankey, and hit the ON button on the remote. As I was snoozed lightly, again in front of that grainy monitor (creepy), the white noise pervading my badly acoustic 1-bedroom apartment was interrupted sharply at 3AM. "Wake up chubby minion!!! Walmart's going to be the new President if you don't! WAKE, now!"

A Phone's Tale, Part 3

"What?? No... I am not going to tak... WHAT!?!! Mummy!!!!!!!"

Phone blinked stubbornly. I clarified myself. "Eh?!"

"Don't you understand lady? I am Steve Jobs," continued the staccato machine-voice of Phone.

"I didn't know this would work for sure, but thanks to my innovation, creative genius and not to mention, my pact with the Technology-Demon, I am pure Silica and Electricity now. A testament to my future-looking, omniscient... don't waste my time Insignificance. Go forth, bring me to my HQ. In my basement, I have Dylan waiting for me to upload on him.

"Ewww !" The adult in me was responding, despite the giggle issued forth by the grad-student in me. I continued sanctimoniously, " That sounds gross. I don't know what you are talking about. Look, I am a poor, soon-to-be-out-of-work graduate student. I have no time to go wherever and do whatever. And did you just call me Insignificance?!!! It's 3AM and I have a meeting tomorrow. So I am going to tell myself this was a freaky dream and sleep it off. Bbye Steve." I was unshakable. What silliness, talking Phone and Steve Jobs. This is what happens, when one spends too much time reading the news and watching inspirational speeches by powerful execs instead of working and sleeping at the appropriate hour.

"NOOOO!! You chubby minion, don't go! I have very little time. Look, I am sorry. Listen, this is very important. The future depends on me and now, sadly you. OK, OK you needn't go anywhere, just break this phone. Shatter it and free my spirit. Don't go. And no , no, don't you turn me off, don't you......------------"